Postpartum is called the “fourth trimester.” The baby is now here, the cute photos of the newborn and mom have been sent to family and friends, and many assume that the hard work is “done.” But for new moms and dads, it’s just begun.

My husband and I welcomed our baby girl into the world on October 30, 2024. Her birth was relatively quick and easy, compared to many first-time births. My pregnancy was also relatively simple. But postpartum was a whole new animal we were not prepared for (and honestly, who ever is?).

Feeding issues for our newborn led to weight gain issues which led to nights of triple feeding every two hours to get our baby’s weight up. What normally is about a 6 week adjustment for parents turned into at least 12 weeks of extremely broken sleep, co-sleeping just to get through the night, and endless pumping and bottle feeding, on top of terrible reflux/choking issues for our baby girl.

In that season, I learned that you need to rely on your community. Without the support of our family and close friends, that season would have been even lonelier and harder.

Whether your friend seems to be thriving postpartum or just surviving, here are five ways you can help make their life just a little bit easier.

1 – Regular check-ins

I had a few friends and family who checked in regularly during those first months postpartum. Even if they had their own kids and couldn’t get over to physically help me, their texts to just check in and hear how I was doing meant the world to me.

Make a note on your calendar to check in on a postpartum/new mom friend every few weeks, and ask how you can pray for her. Believe me, it goes a long way!

2 – Offer to stop by and visit

Besides just the crazy hormone dips, emotions often run high postpartum and it’s easy for a new mom to feel lonely. Even if she doesn’t realize it, she probably needs company.

Offer to stop by and hold the baby for an hour and sit with the toddler so she can jump in the shower or take a nap. This is gold to a new mom.

3 – Bring/pay for a meal

Whether it’s a spontaneous lunch drop off or a planned dinner, food is always welcome.

For the new mom dealing with her own hunger issues on top of a baby who needs to eat 24/7, food is essential. If she’s got other little ones and a hungry husband, even more needed.

Ask her in advance if there’s a night she could use an easy dinner, or just text that morning and offer to cover the meal for that night.

Venmoing for takeout is another great idea if you don’t have time to prep a meal. Who doesn’t love eating out from their favorite restaurant?

4 – Pick up items at the store

This is a relatively easy one. Going to the grocery store and live near a new-mom friend? Text or call to see if she needs anything and offer to drop it off on your way back home.

Diapers, eggs, milk, pads, snacks – every new mom has a grocery list that’s waiting for the next opportunity to get to the store.

5 – Babysit for a date night

As your friend’s baby starts to get older and more independent of Mom, ask if you can come watch her for an hour – or longer – if they’d like to go out.

It can be hard for a new mom, especially if it’s her first, to leave her baby, but having a trusted friend offer to sit with her newborn, even if it’s just an hour, will encourage her to get out for a bit.

6 – Clean her house

This one sounds more complicated than it has to be.

If you’re watching your friend’s baby or dropping off a meal, offer to wash some bottles or dishes. Better yet, if you’re a trusted friend or family member, just start doing it.

They will protest but will thank you later!

Summary

If you took the time to read this, you’re already a great friend and support person for your postpartum friend.

During our first few weeks and months postpartum, we had family and friends do each of the above for us, and it spoke volumes.

And don’t ever forget, prayer alone goes a long way and carries a new mom through the sleepless nights of new motherhood. Believe me, my husband and I know!